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In His Presence
12 years ago
Friday, May 1, 2009
Friday, April 3, 2009
Flash Backs
As I type this I have tears in my eyes. Tears of joy and of sadness. Last summer, Jon-Collin had a terrible illness that almost cost him his life. But God was completely and totally in control and my son recovered pretty quickly. The after math of the illness we still deal with today, but it is very minor in comparison of what it could be. He goes to counseling for PTSS, and he goes to Speech Pathology 2 times a week. So, three out of the 5 days he is in some sort of therapy. To speak and inter react with Jon-Collin you would never know anything is wrong. God is good.
Last night I noticed, actually for a couple of weeks now, he isn't wanting to go to bed. Last night was the first time he told me he was having what he called "flash backs". He doesn't remember a lot of what happened to him, which is a blessing in disguise really... but it seems like small pieces of memory are starting to come back to him and they are starting to scare him.
While he was in the hospital they inserted a PICC line for easier access to give medications, and due the fact the medication they had him on was "blowing out" his veins and every couple of days they were having to reinsert a new iv line. They sent us home with him still having the PICC line and I was trained to give him an IV every 6 hours. After 21 days of home treatment the PICC line was removed and he was allowed to keep it. We bagged it up in several zip lock bags - gallon size - and stored it in his closet for safe keeping.
For some reason, last night he got this bag down from his closet and was looking at it. He then brought it to me and told me I needed to put it up somewhere safer. I didn't think anything of it until later I heard him crying in his room. I went in and asked him why he was crying and he told me because he was scared he would get sick again. I told him that God is watching out for him and that he would keep him safe, and with that, I said, now it is time for some sleep. Tucked him in and turned off the lights.
I stayed up a hour later, and went to bed. I wasn't in bed 20 mins when he was screaming for me. I went into his room and he was crying once more. It was then he told me he was having "flash backs" of the night he got sick. He then proceeded to tell me how he could hear everyone talking but he couldn't talk back and how it scared him. I just laid down in bed with him and cuddled him until he fell asleep. It was then I could tell that my tough almost teenager boy who tells me how unfair I am- still needs his mommy. I too had flash backs. At that moment I remembered when he was a toddler and I would try and lay him down for a nap, and how I would have to lay down with him and cuddle him until he was a sleep. I would try and sneak out of the bed without waking him up because I had a ton of housework to do... only to wake him. He would raise his little head and say, mommy where you going? So, I would just lay down again and nap with my toddler - because nothing was more important at that time than cuddling with my baby.
After about an hour, Jon-Collin finally fell asleep, and his twin bed just isn't as big as it used to be. So, I slowly got out of his bed trying not to wake him.. but as I was leaving his room he raised his head and said, "Thanks mom, I love you." And that, is worth all the stomping and huffing and eye rolling in the world. I love you too son.
Last night I noticed, actually for a couple of weeks now, he isn't wanting to go to bed. Last night was the first time he told me he was having what he called "flash backs". He doesn't remember a lot of what happened to him, which is a blessing in disguise really... but it seems like small pieces of memory are starting to come back to him and they are starting to scare him.
While he was in the hospital they inserted a PICC line for easier access to give medications, and due the fact the medication they had him on was "blowing out" his veins and every couple of days they were having to reinsert a new iv line. They sent us home with him still having the PICC line and I was trained to give him an IV every 6 hours. After 21 days of home treatment the PICC line was removed and he was allowed to keep it. We bagged it up in several zip lock bags - gallon size - and stored it in his closet for safe keeping.
For some reason, last night he got this bag down from his closet and was looking at it. He then brought it to me and told me I needed to put it up somewhere safer. I didn't think anything of it until later I heard him crying in his room. I went in and asked him why he was crying and he told me because he was scared he would get sick again. I told him that God is watching out for him and that he would keep him safe, and with that, I said, now it is time for some sleep. Tucked him in and turned off the lights.
I stayed up a hour later, and went to bed. I wasn't in bed 20 mins when he was screaming for me. I went into his room and he was crying once more. It was then he told me he was having "flash backs" of the night he got sick. He then proceeded to tell me how he could hear everyone talking but he couldn't talk back and how it scared him. I just laid down in bed with him and cuddled him until he fell asleep. It was then I could tell that my tough almost teenager boy who tells me how unfair I am- still needs his mommy. I too had flash backs. At that moment I remembered when he was a toddler and I would try and lay him down for a nap, and how I would have to lay down with him and cuddle him until he was a sleep. I would try and sneak out of the bed without waking him up because I had a ton of housework to do... only to wake him. He would raise his little head and say, mommy where you going? So, I would just lay down again and nap with my toddler - because nothing was more important at that time than cuddling with my baby.
After about an hour, Jon-Collin finally fell asleep, and his twin bed just isn't as big as it used to be. So, I slowly got out of his bed trying not to wake him.. but as I was leaving his room he raised his head and said, "Thanks mom, I love you." And that, is worth all the stomping and huffing and eye rolling in the world. I love you too son.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Spring Break
This year we didn't have a lot of time to take off work for Spring Break, and both the boys have different weeks off so we decided to do a few things around here instead of taking a vacation somewhere. So, this week was JonCollins Spring Break, so we took off Monday and Tuesday to spend with him and will do the same for Joshua next week. We took JonCollin and his best friend Keaton to a skatepark in Dallas then headed over to see the JFK memorial -- and took the boys to eat at HOOTERS, which I think was the highlight of the entire day for both the boys and Brandon! The next day, we went to Robbers Cave in Wilburton. They climbed and hiked, and climbed some more. The weather was prefect for both days and I couldnt ask for a better time off with my son. Here are a few pictures.
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JFK Memorial.. facing the building where the shooter was.
Indoor Skatepark
Hooters
JFK Memorial.. facing the building where the shooter was.
Robbers Cave
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
The greatest sneak of all!
About a week ago we explained to JonCollin that we were taking away sugar in our home -- really, we are cutting WAY back. To him this must have been like the world was coming to an end because he started stock piling candy everywhere in the house. Not only that, but he has a facebook account (with only family on it) and begged his grandmother (my mom) to make him cookies... which she so loveingly did. He originally told her to make 6 dozen, my mom settled on 2 dozen. The package came in the mail today and when I got home this is what I saw.
My scrapbooking area!
Inside my basket chair!
My entertainment center.
Whats that?
Bag of candy!
This is what you see when you walk in my door.
Bottom drawer.
yes.. Inside the pillow.
YES... thats right
Slash hat on the wall.
Inside the hat!
Monday, March 9, 2009
Happy Birthday Brandon! 36 years young.
In Celebration of your Birthday Honey.......
I love your laugh and how you get so easily tickled and you laugh until you cry.
I love the way you have a level head - but NEVER take life too seriously.
I love the way you charish your family time, and make the best of it.
I love the way you still act childish at times, it sets the tone for our children to be silly too.
I love the way you smell when I cuddle up next to you in bed.
I love the stepdad you have become to my son, he looks up to you and so do I.
I love the way you still allow Joshua to sit on your lap like he did when he was a small boy.
I love the way you come home from work, and find me first to give me a hug.
I love the way that you call every time you fly just to keep my mind at ease.
I love our code words, silly sayings and private jokes that no one else knows.
I love the way you play basketball with our boys and slam dunk, and trash talk them like you are their age again.
I love your loving heart, and the way you still tear up speaking about difficult things, or watching intervention.
I love you.. just the way you are.
I love your laugh and how you get so easily tickled and you laugh until you cry.
I love the way you have a level head - but NEVER take life too seriously.
I love the way you charish your family time, and make the best of it.
I love the way you still act childish at times, it sets the tone for our children to be silly too.
I love the way you smell when I cuddle up next to you in bed.
I love the stepdad you have become to my son, he looks up to you and so do I.
I love the way you still allow Joshua to sit on your lap like he did when he was a small boy.
I love the way you come home from work, and find me first to give me a hug.
I love the way that you call every time you fly just to keep my mind at ease.
I love our code words, silly sayings and private jokes that no one else knows.
I love the way you play basketball with our boys and slam dunk, and trash talk them like you are their age again.
I love your loving heart, and the way you still tear up speaking about difficult things, or watching intervention.
I love you.. just the way you are.
Friday, February 6, 2009
God is bigger than the boogyman...
Let me explain...
This past summer my son was in the hospital for about 12 days.. 4 of them in ICU. They didnt expect him to live through the night....but GOD is bigger than illness! Due to this illness there has been alot of anxiety in our family -- mainly me and my son. We are working through a lot in therapy but we have just started that journey!
Jon-Collin is going for his first Boy Scout camp out this weekend since being home from the hospital. Yes it has been 5 months... but I have been by his side almost every day since. Needless to say, he is excited and I find myself praying alot! He is getting his first class rank, which means he is well on his way to Eagle scout within the next few years. I know and trust that my son is in God's hands... It is so hard for me to let go.... I keep telling myself God is bigger than THAT...then the vegie tales song starts ringing through my head... God is bigger than the boogyman!
This past summer my son was in the hospital for about 12 days.. 4 of them in ICU. They didnt expect him to live through the night....but GOD is bigger than illness! Due to this illness there has been alot of anxiety in our family -- mainly me and my son. We are working through a lot in therapy but we have just started that journey!
Jon-Collin is going for his first Boy Scout camp out this weekend since being home from the hospital. Yes it has been 5 months... but I have been by his side almost every day since. Needless to say, he is excited and I find myself praying alot! He is getting his first class rank, which means he is well on his way to Eagle scout within the next few years. I know and trust that my son is in God's hands... It is so hard for me to let go.... I keep telling myself God is bigger than THAT...then the vegie tales song starts ringing through my head... God is bigger than the boogyman!
Monday, February 2, 2009
Basketball
You have your game face on here.. I wonder what you are thinking...
You dominated the basketball court.. you have really become a GREAT basketball player. You made 12 out of the 22 points!! You guys lost in the last 24 seconds of the game... but you guys PLAYED SOME GREAT BALL!! I am so proud of you!
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